One of the reasons I love Walthamstow, an area in NE London where I live, is that it attracts a really cool mix of people. I’ve recently joined a Sell and Swap group on Facebook, and we had the most hilarious conversation on there today.
I took out the innumerable ‘Amazing!’, ‘Love them’ and ‘I wish’ phrases and just left the gist of it for your enjoyment…
Carrie: Selling a pair of totally awesome shoes from America. They’re fabulous, outlandish shoes but are too small.
Anyone brave enough?
Waqas: Those shoes are amazing!
Kim: Love them, probably get arrested for obscene language..hahahah
Julie: Imagine standing in court whilst they read the charges out…. May even make it onto London Tonight LOL
Francesca: I love them but they might only fit my toddler, and that might not be appropriate…
Penni: You know what though, they’d be even better if the CU was on the left foot and NT on the right so it could only be read when you crossed your legs!
Carrie: Yeah – they are pretty small. I fear they may need to be eBayed … shame – I quite fancy a fellow brave Walthamstower to be wandering about in them …
Reign: I think we need to be friends Carrie Love your style LOL
Carrie: Aw thanks Reign! You’re a sweetie! I only moved here a few months ago so would be great to find some like-minded people (who don’t mind sweary shoes!)
Caramel: Wrong size for me. But if I did have these I’d be tempted to buy a pair of their f**k ones too. Then I could mix and match: “funt” “cuck” etc…
Jale: I’m still chuckling! Only person I know with size3 feet is my daughter… not sure the school would approve though
Carrie: My daughter is a 3/4 but, as you say, probably not a sensible choice!
Penni: I think ‘funt’ is my new favourite word.
Reign: Worth thinking about why the most offensive word in the English language is for female genitalia…?
Pixie: I suggest enquiring at Coventry. I’m not kidding you, they have a Coventry University Netball Team. Sounds like a right fit!
Pixie: Another suggestion: ‘Offensive Shoes Society, Walthamstow division’ – I’m in! It might finally make me buy the ‘Sex 120′ Louboutins I’ve longed for since the first moment I cast my eyes on them…
Carrie: Oh gawd I SOOO want in on the society!! Genius idea
Pixie: Okay. But I reserve the right to specify item #1 on the statute – we can eat all the cake we want and no one can mention dieting!
Carrie: As long as there’s gin (I’m not fussed by cake) then I’m in …
Jale: okay, will start saving my pennies for some naughty shoes… did someone say cake?
Jale: Gin cake?
Pixie: GIN CAKE! I think we’re really on to something in this thread girls.
Jale: Looking up recipes as we speak
Pixie: I think it’s fate. Seriously. Time to synchronise calendars and find a suitable date for gin cake testing and shoe commentary.
Penni: I think we all should chip in and buy the shoes off Carrie as a group. They can be our mascot.
Reign: Oh dear….I dont like gin. But cake is my middle name. And I’m a prolific swearer. Can I still join if I promise to be rude?
Carrie: Ok – let’s open it up to the alcoholic beverage of your choice – and decent tea and coffee for any non-drinkers. Let’s be inclusive here (the rudeness will be exclusive enough hehe)
Jennie: Amazing. I love Walthamstow. Carrie, you’ve landed in the right postcode!!
Carrie: This is rapidly becoming abundantly clear! WHOOP!
Katie: Love the shoes! Unfortunately, I am cursed with massive feet. After years of not being able to say it, I have recently embraced that word so would love a pair. It has mostly been directed at my complete funt of an ex husband. Would love to get together with other sweary lovers of cake!
Carrie: Right. We need to mobilise the sweary troops and organise something. We should call ourselves the Walthamstow And Neighbourhood’s Kid-free Everso Rude Society (geddit??!)
Pixie: Carrie so it’s a no to Rude Gin Cake Offensive Shoes Society?
Carrie: Just enjoyed the acronym of Walthamstow And Neighbourhood’s Kid-free Everso Rude Society …
Pixie: Oh God. How could I have missed that! No gin for me…
Carrie: EVERYONE is entitled to gin Pixie!
End result… drinks tomorrow. Whee!
And for those interested… here’s a gin & tonic cake recipe. You’re welcome.